Category: Flash Fiction

For my first Thanksgiving as host, I bought the biggest turkey they had in the store. My plan was to torch the turkey, burn the potatoes and undercook the green beans. Continue reading →

Human behavior is highly predictable. People don’t like to believe this. Most people would exit this situation with a good story they’ll be repeating at family holidays for years to come. We would exit with a free room in Vegas for life. Continue reading →

Mark sighs.

Nora glares.

They brace.

Quiet continues.

Caper commences. Continue reading →

“It’s Carla,” John said as he walked through the door.

“She’s at my house and she won’t leave.”

“Can’t you call the cops?” I asked.

“Her name is still on the lease.” Continue reading →

It was 2am, and I had to pee in the middle of the night again. As I lifted the covers, I noticed that Josh wasn’t in the bed next to me. After using the bathroom, I went downstairs. No sign of Josh there, either. I looked out a front window in the living room. His car was in the driveway. I looked out the back window in the kitchen. A light was on in the barn.

I grabbed a jacket and slid on a pair of loafers I keep next to the back door.

I walked the hundred or so yards through the back yard to the barn and opened the door.

“What are you doing in here…”

I didn’t see him.

“Honey?”

Nothing.

A faint noise, reminiscent of an old film projector, began emitting from a distance. The sound grew louder and closer.

An enormous light flashed and I heard a loud crash, which produced a cloud of dirt. I was temporarily blinded and inadvertently backed up into the wall of the barn.

“Honey! You won’t believe what happened!” Josh was geeking out. A frequent event.

“Josh?”

“It’s possible!” Continue reading →

Sheldon Cooper emerged from the tv screen and into my living room. I was 99% sure I wasn’t high.

“Give me the mug,” he demanded.

I’d made it onto Sheldon’s infamous mortal enemies list, joining such notables as Brent Spiner, Barry Kripke and Leslie Winkle. I was delighted to find myself in great company. I was also desperate to achieve Wil Wheaton status and get off the list. Continue reading →

“I want in.”

I could hear my neighbor from my front porch.

“Ok, see ya Friday.”

I knew I’d already heard too much. My neighbor was into something nefarious, and I was a witness. Death felt imminent. I decided right then and there that, when offered, I would choose witness protection. Continue reading →

“What do you mean you planned it this way?”

I couldn’t tell if Jim was drunk or joking. Or both. I just knew we could laugh about this later. Right now, we needed to start tearing down this wall while the mortar was still wet. Continue reading →