A Visit from my Mortal Enemy

Sheldon Cooper emerged from the tv screen and into my living room. I was 99% sure I wasn’t high.

“Give me the mug,” he demanded.

I’d made it onto Sheldon’s infamous mortal enemies list, joining such notables as Brent Spiner, Barry Kripke and Leslie Winkle. I was delighted to find myself in great company. I was also desperate to achieve Wil Wheaton status and get off the list.

To do that, I would have to part with the TARDIS Mug I ordered from ThinkGeek. Yesterday, I bragged on Twitter how I was one of the last to order one before they went out of stock. It doesn’t take much to end up as a mortal enemy of Sheldon Cooper.

I handed over the mug. It wasn’t a huge loss, as the square shape makes it awkward to drink my officially licensed Earl Grey Star Trek tea.

My end game was becoming part of the gang. It’s bothered me for years, the unevenness of 4 guys and 3 girls. I could make things equal and restore balance to the universe.

After sending Sheldon back home through one of my Stargate coasters, I loaded ThinkGeek.com on my browser. I needed to find a gift for his next visit. Rewarding him would increase the chances of his return, a la using chocolate candy to train Penny, Pavlov-style.

Ah, the “Trust Me I’m the Doctor” t-shirt should work. Sheldon will love wearing it in front of Howard.